30 november 2009

ning,u tell me this thing is true ?? izit this is the truth ?? i love u is wrong d ?? before until now u also play me d ?? u think me is dolls ?? and u with me juz wan to fullfil wat u wan ?? u tell me when u v me,u go out v another guy ?? u scold me v rude word juz nw.... should i sad ?? ning... i can tell u d is i happy coz u honest... i happy coz u talk v me... i can tell u,although like tat i still love u... i will let u love me once... only once also enough already.... i love u... i wont mind anything... i tell u honestly,now in my heart i still thinking izit u joke v me ?? izit i love u more than i expect ?? i cant control myself... i love u... ning... i duno how to tell u wat i feel nw... i really miss u... every second every minutes and every hours also thinking about u... in my mind juz oni hav u... in my brain juz hav the pic and the moment we together d memory... those sweet memory rolling in my mind... i know u will know it 1 day... i hope u will love me... i really hope it... i love u,ning.... please give me a chance....

29 november 2009

today i sad and no mood for the whole day.... i saw ning with another guy eating... i know she go out with he and i know they eat at there but i also want to go because i want to meet she... i so happy because can saw she but i am sad because she din saw me... i duno wat can i do tat time... after a while they leave le... i din hav mood to eat and i suddenly cry... i duno why i will like tat... i dun wan to let other to know i cry,i juz keep it in my eyes and cry in my heart... i wipe my tears and din hav mood to eat anymore... i juz chat v my friend and tell he wat i feel... i put my lunch away from me... i juz keep see the place that they sitting juz now... i sad... ning... izit one chance also cant gv to me... i really want to take care u and i very love u... ning... please... i promise i wont make any mistake anymore... i put u at the 1st place and listen to everything from u... ning.. i really hope i can have a chance back 2gether with u again... i love u.... i will wait u until the world end... i really very miss u.... god... why u gv me a hope but make me sad at the last... i really duno wat can i do and wat should i do.... ning.. i love u....

28 november 2009

ning,did u know how worry am i ?? u so late din back home yet... i very worry about u... did u know wat i feel nw ?? i feel sad,angry,nervous,worry,scare and my brain is blank... i duno wat to do and wat can i do... i very angry coz tat guy make u so late din back home... i sad bcoz u bcome like tat... did u know how important u for me and ur family ?? did u know we are very worry about u ?? u dont know the dangerous of this world... this not a fairy tale... in this reality world what human being also got... no one know what are they thinking... i scare bcoz i scare anything happen to u... i dont want it bcome too late... bcoz thing late,it wont return... the person who hurt tat time is u... ning... i dont want u bcome like tis... plz.... i hope u will know what i am thinking now.... i really love u... i cant live without u... ning,i want to protect u,i wan to take care u,i wan to love u.... ning... i love u !!

27 november 2009

yes !! today i go out with ning.... so happy.... although the time we together is short but i already very happy... we see movie together,we chat... so happy !! thank god !! at night,she hungry... i call her sister buy something for she eat... i so happy because she eat it... thank god !! finally she start to accept me le... i will do it more good... ning... wait for me... i want you to be the most " xing fu " girl in this world... i wont let you suffer,i wont let u sad,i wont let you hurt anymore !! in this world,let me suffer anything for you.... ning,i love you !! when you will tell me you willing to be back my darling again ?? i know the day will come soon.... thank god !! i love you wan ning !!

26 november 2009

today i very happy... because ning drink with me.... althought she not very willing to chat with me,i already very happy because i can meet she.... izit we have chance to back together ?? i so happy... now i thinking how to buy a camera for she... because she told me,it is her dream camera... i will try my best to buy it... ning,wait for it... today you chat with me,i very happy... thank you.... i think tonight is the night is the most happiest night for me.... since ning leave me,i cant sleep well but tonight will be the different for me... thank you... i hope tomorrow you will go to have a movie with me... did i have this chance ?? if can,tomorrow i will fetch you go to kl to watch it... long long time we didn't watch movie together le... i really hope it... thank god... i love you,ning... did you happy with the present i give you today ?? i hope you will like it... you can use it to punish me when i wrong again... i willing to give you to hit,scold,bite or anything... ning,i really very miss you... i will wait until the day you come back my side... i love you..

25 november 2009

today ning hurt me again.... she told me we are imposible together again.... she wont together with me... why she want to treat me like that ?? izit me is that worse ?? izit me not worth for she to love me again ?? god !! please tell me !! after i hear it,i very sad... but in my mind,i wont retreat from chasing she... i will make it more better... maybe she think me still not good enough... ning,wait for me.... today i bought a present for ning again... it is a hand... she can slap me by using that... haha... so funny... i hope she will like this present... ning.. i will try my best to make u happy,make u feel i love you... i want you to be the most "xing fu" girl... can you be the one who i want to give u everything ?? do you want it ?? i just want soh wan ning to be my darling... no one else can replace your place in my heart anymore... whole my heart are for you.... ning,i love you... i hope you can feel it too.... please give me a chance to love you,sek you and take care you... ning,i very miss you... when you can back to my side ?? i wait for it... i really cant imagine how happy am i if you come back my side.... i love you.... xiao didi will treat you as good as i can...

24 november 2009

today is a boring day.... when i wake up,nothing can i do.... i just keep on sleep... but i cant sleep,i keep on wake up... i very miss u,ning... i don't want to wait... i wish you are beside me nw... i so wish it... ning,without you,i also don't know what can i do.... the whole day i just sleep... i wish ning can back to my side as soon as posible... i will do anything for she... i don't care what she want,as i can do,i will do it for she... ning... i hope you can see this blog... i hope you will chat with me... i hope you will come back my side... i love you !! i really very miss you !! muacks...

23 november 2009

it is a new day... i so miss the day we together.... ning... when we can have chance again ?? when i finish up my thing and prepare to back,suddenly i saw something inside my bag... omg !! it is a list about my hp bills.... i remember it,ning asked me before about it... she thought me calling to other girls... i so surprise.. suddenly i felt ning so good,because she don't want to argue with me... she keep those thing inside my bag... i also don't know what to say... ning... you are too important for me... i love you.. after that,i go buy some ning's favorite for she... i buy it and take it to her kl home... i hang it on her house door... i hope she will accept it... then i just go away and went to a shopping complex that she always go... i hope,i can meet she at there... i walking around the complex for 2 hours... i find a special present for ning.... it is a chrismas present...i walk until my leg pain... suddenly i remember ning got ask me to buy something for she when we walking at complex last time...i try find it back... but i cant found it... i will buy it for she for this chrismas... ning,wait for a surprise from me... then i went for a movie with ming.. i so miss the day we watch movie together,ning... after the movie i drive to fetch ming's gf back from other complex... after i send them back home,i start my journey alone back home... i am tired but i satisfied because i got buy a present for ning... i hope she will appreciate it... ning,i love u !! i will prepare a present for you... i want you to know,you are always in my mind... i remember all thing u told me before... i will buy the present that you want for you... wait for it.... i love u !! hope you get a flying colour result for your exam !! gambateh !! i miss you....

22 november 2009(night)

this night is a lonely night... i am too boring and nothing i can do... i plan to go kl find ning again.... i scare she don't want to meet me again... i scare i will make she angry if i do that again.... that again means i stand in front her house and wait for she... so i plan to fetch ming go karak... after that,i ask ming,did he want to go genting with me ?? thn he told me,its ok... he can go... i so happy... when i arrive genting,i just walking around with ming... i want to keep the memory when i with ning go genting... i walking back where we have a sweet memory there.. i sit on the place that we sit before... i chatting with ming about me and ning... i told he,i very love she.... i really don't understand why we will become like this... i just do what me and ning do at genting before... i want to memorize it back... i walking here and there until 4.30am thn i only back room and sleep... i so miss ning... when she only will come back my side ??

22 november 2009(afternoon)

sry,ning... i just realize that we together so long time is not i accompany you... is you accompany me... sry.. i misunderstand already... since u leave me,my life become boring... become not colourful... i just realize me is alone.... ning... i miss the day we together... i miss you bite me,scold me,hit me and other... can i have those day again ?? i so hope it... when can i have those chance again ?? i really stupid... i really is stupid to let you go away from me... ning... can you give me a chance ?? i hope you will see this... i love you !!

22 november 2009(morning)

this morning my sister call me... she say wanna buy thing for me eat... izit they already know i hurt and don't want to eat ?? but i didn't care about it.... since i already say,when ning come back my side i only will eat thn i will wait until that time only eat.... izit me that bad ?? izit a chance u also cant gv me ?? i can do d thing,i already do... i duno what can i do anymore... ning,can u tell me ?? u tell me thn i will do it... anything also can.... i wish can accompany you but you meet me also don't want... u really so hate me ?? izit me like a ghost ?? even see me also cant ?? i really very sad... did u know ?? i know you wont know it because i didn't dare to tell u this... i always keep my feel inside my heart... i just want u to be happy,anything let me suffer then enough already... ning... i still waiting for u... i really didn't betray u... i can die for u,u are too important for me... i wont betray u,believe me.... our relationship not easy we get it... how come i will do such thing to make us saperate ?? i wont,never and imposible !! i love u... please come back my side !! i wait you...

21 november 2009(night)

at afternoon i very happy... finally i know wan ning at where le.... she at kl... i try call to her kl house,she answer it... i very happy... i told she,i want she love me once again... i go kl find she and accompany she for a week.... i want accompany she do anything as she like.... i very happy,i take a bag and put few cloth into it... i drive car as fast as i can to reach kl.... but when i reach it,she don't want to meet me... she lie me that she already back to mentakab.... i know she lie me because she don't want to meet me... i don't know what can i do... i just stand in front her house and wait... i waited around 2hours thn i already lack energy... my dad call me back le... my wrist blood come out coz gt water go in... so pain... that time is raining.... then i drive back... i drive very slow because rain heavily....on the way i back,i almost accident... when i drive suddenly my hand very pain... luckily ning beside me... i don't dare to die yet... ning... when u can back my side ?? i really very miss u... i waiting for your answer.... i love u !!

21 november 2009(morning)

ning... nw me hurt dy... why u didn't come see me ?? i really very sad to hear about it... wat can i do,juz can write it in my blog... i hope 1 day u will c it.... my blood bleeding from last nite until this morning... i wipe it till morning... i hope u will come see me... this morning,my dad take me go see doctor...doctor say my hand is injured very deep... if wan recover,i muz get treatment from he... i don't want it... i want ning come see me... i want ning come and care me... i hope she will back together with me.... doctor gv me some medicine and tell me if i get treatment,it will recover around 8-10 days....if i didn't get treatment,i wont recover... once touch it or use some energy,the blood will come out... i din't care about it !!! i din mind to die !! i juz want ning come back my side... i cant eat those medicine coz hav to eat 1st... i dont want to eat... i want to punish myself... ning... when u will back to my side ?? i love u...

20 november 2009(night)

ning... y u wan to hurt me ?? i really can do anything for u... today,i dy plan wan fetch u go c movie,shopping and do anything u like..... nw u treat me like tat,i decided to die.... why my dad come and save me ?? i dont nid any rescue,i juz nid ning to back 2gether v me.... my hand bleeding,my tears also drop... i really very sad... i gt tell u b4,u r my everything... i cant live without u... nw i wan to prove tat wat i say nt a joke... whole day didn't eat,but i din feel hungry... u say u dun wan 2gether v me because me are too childish... nt me childish,i used all the way to make u gv me a chance... but u didn't gv me also... i sad,didn't eat,drink,sleep.... i keep all the feeling inside my heart,did u know why ?? because i wan u live with happiness,no sadness appear in your life... nw my hand are pain but i hope u can come and see me,i hope i can kneel u and ask for a chance from u... did i have this kind of chance ?? i still waiting... i hope,i can have it... if really god dun want to give me a chance to ask forgive from u,i willing to die... i wont die at house,i will run away and die... i dun want to have anyone rescue me anymore... today i really very silly,i beg ning d bf to gv ning back to me... izit me too silly ?? maybe leaving will b the best solution for me....

20 november 2009(afternoon)

i so happy to receive ning call again... this is second time... i so happy... she told me the place and time to have a drink.... izit will have a good news for me ?? if really,i will try my best to make she happy... any problem,i also help she solve... i wan she happy everyday.... let me suffer anything,i also didn't mind.... ning,i really love u... i can leave anything just for you... i can do anything just for you... believe me !! i love u.....

20 november 2009(morning)

izit my wish become true ?? izit ning already forgive me ?? i really hope so... this morning,when i drive to work,i get a call from ning... when i saw the number,i really so happy... i so nervous... i scare she will scold me again.... but i also answer it because i want to hear her voice... in that conversation,she ask me to have a drink on afternoon... she asking me to have a drink.. am i dreaming ?? that time,i really so happy,happy until feel wanna see she now.... i answer she,i have time to have drink... i hope she already forgive me and give me a good news when we have a drink later... thx god !!

06 november 2009(my birthday)

today is 6 of november,it is a meaningfull day for me..... it is my birthday......why birthday must been called happy birthday ?? izit everyone when the day of their birth they can happy with the celebrating or other thing ?? why it different to me ?? izit i not a human ?? izit it is not worth for me to happy ?? the first minutes of today i really very happy because i receive a call from someone i love,she wishing me happy birthday.... even myself also already forget today is my birthday but she remember it.... izit means i have the chance to back together with she ?? she wish me can celebrate it with family and friend,wish me have a unforgetable birthday.... maybe until today she still didn't understand ??i already didn't have any friend..izit she already forget about it ?? when the day i dating with she,i put all my time on she... since that day,i already no find my friend come out for drink or chatting..... time goes day by day,all my friend already forget me.... this fault cannot blame them because of forgetting me,it is because of me seldom contact with them... i understand...early in this morning,i receive a message from my mum,she wish me happy birthday,i happy because still have my parent remember me...after i prepare all thing,as usually i go to work... when i reach shop,my mum gv me some money to celebrate it with my friend... how can i tell she,i didn't have friend ?? i just take the money and go to work... luckily my sis have call me and wish me happy birthday,except my parent,no one else remember this... but i didn't mind it at all.... since small until nw,in my family no one celebrate it with family.... i understand it because our family is a broken family... dad and mum seldom care about us because to earn money for us to study... i really wish can celebrate it with she(ning)... but i realize that number i give she use,she use it to chat with other boy... i understand,we already broke up but i still very care about she and wish one day we can together again... because of my anger,i sms she and scold she... she angry and didn't want to chat with me anymore.... after work,i back home and sitting alone at living room... i hug my dog on my arm and suddenly i cry it out... i also don't know why it will happen... i can't control it... in my mind,i think why i will be alone on my birthday ?? why ?? izit i leave my friend because of my love is wrong ?? izit not worth for me to do so ?? i feel hungry but i really didn't have the mood to eat... the whole day,i didn't eat at all.... i sit at living room and wait for she to celebrate it with me... from evening i wait until the last minutes of the day... finally i realize,she wont care me anymore because me not who for she... izit my birthday also called happy birthday ??

19 november 2009

today happen a sad thing to me.... tis morning i call ning for a chat but she tell me dun disturb her life anymore.... i very sad and i say sry for calling to her house phone.... i told she i call to her house phone nt coz i wanna disturb her family,i juz cant call in to her hp... she told me,i change hp num coz i dun wan u disturb me anymore... she also tell me,we are imposible together again... its over.... i really very sad when i hear that,my morning mood become bad... i din feel to work.... while i work,i keep think about she... i call ming(ning's friend) to hav a chat... i told he everything... how we start and how we end... i really regret about tat... i blame myself for late to say sry to she.... after work,i take a present for ning... but the present hav a condition to open it... if she wanna open it,she muz back together with me.... after she receive the present,she told me call me to take it back because we are imposible... but i told she,one day when she wan to accept me again,thn she oni open it... i will wait she... after i gv she the present,i ask she to hav a dinner together but she told me,her bf coming to fetch she later... i really very sad to hear it.... after i hear it,i didnt go away from her house... i park my car aside from her house and wait for nothing... at that time,i also duno wat i thinking and wat i wan.... my brain are stuck.... after 1 hours,i feel angry coz i cant accept tat she hav a bf.... i call my dad to call tat guy... because tat guy already promise tat he wont together v ning again.... but he break promise... izit like tis d guy worth for u to love ?? i really cant accept it... a while later,ning throw back my present tat i give she juz nw back to me... i feel strange,i thought mayb tat guy call ning and told she wat i tell she... but i didn't do anything wrong... i juz remind he and he already break promise... is he willing to promise tat.... how can he blame me to tell he ?? when ning gv back my present to me,my tears are going to drop... but i tried to hang on... i know ning will go and find tat guy,i keep sit on car and c wat she gonna do... she really drive car go out.... in tat time,my tears drop from my eyes... i really cant control it.... i drive back home and tell ming about tat... i cry for it... i feel angry,sad and dissapointed... why she wanna did like tat to me ?? around 10.30pm,i worry about she so i drive out and park at her house again.... i hide and wanna c where she go and who she with... i wait until 11.40pm,finally ning back home le... but i didn't saw tat guy fetch she back home... izit like tis is a gentleman ?? he put a girl far away from her house and drive away... he let a girl walk back home at night ?? i saw ning d back oni because i park opposite of her house... but i already feel very happy because she is safe... i keep wait infront her house until 1.00am,i oni back home... i hope tomorrow will better thn today... i hope when i wake up,ning will forgive me....